Unlikely Alloys
Cast Cast: * Razor – Barry Gordon * T-Bone – Charles Adler * Commander Ulysses Feral – Gary Owens * Lieutenant Toby Furlong – Kevin Conroy * Lieutenant Felina Feral – Lori Alan * Fido Furlong - Heidi Shannon * Robert Clawson – Arte Johnson * Cathy Clawson – Meredith MacRae * Chloe Clawson – Patty Maloney Guest Cast (in order of appearance): * Mac Mange – Neil Ross * Molly Mange – April Winchell * Zed – Jeff Bennett * Dr. Leiter Greenbox – Nick Chinlund Supporting Cast (in order of appearance): * Enforcer Dispatcher – Candi Milo * Vault Supervisor – Mark Hamill * Ann Gora – Candi Milo * Tab Mouser – Barry Gordon * Female Puma-Dyne Supervisor – Tress MacNeille Transcript Razor: That's one G is for nothing but you! T-Bone: That’s… two G’s! Razor: Three G’s! Sure you don’t wanna… back out? T-Bone: Funny. Four G’s. Razor: Five G’s. Woooah!! T-Bone! T-Boy, where are you? T-Bone: I'm down here. Razor: Uh, that’s what I get for supercharging the motors. Too much stress on the support mounts. T-Bone: Heh, heh. Yeah, and now we’ve got a mega-mess to clean up! Razor: Aww..Oops… looks like our radar jammer’s totaled! Without this, Feral can track us here easy and blow our cover! T-Bone: So fix the thing, ace. Razor: Hey, not without help. I salvaged it from a stealth jet; complex stuff… it could take months to fix! Enforcer Dispatcher: Attention Enforcer units! Razor: The emergency band. Enforcer Dispatcher: The Metallikats have broken into Megakat City Mint. All units report. Razor: It's all the trouble it caused! It looks like we need your help while they're ready to reaction! T-Bone: But, sir. The Enforcers will never be able to handle those two. Razor: Then it’s up to us to kick some Metallikat tail! Mac: It’s like this: you mint money for the banks… Molly: …and we have to go all over town stealin’ the money. Mac: We just wanna cut out the middleman. All right! Now I’ll ask you just once: where’s the main vault? Vault Supervisor: You’ll never get in! This door is 25 feet looks more like 12 inches, but what the hey. of reinforced titanium on a quad-bolted time lock that won’t open for 12 hours. Mac: Very impressive. Molly: But we’re in a hurry. Mac: Heh, heh, heh. One stop shoppin’. Hey, only take the big bills, Molly. Molly: DUH! What’d you think I was gonna grab? Ones? Robert Clawson: Hey, It's Commander Feral! Fido: And my biggest brother! Cmdr Feral: Attention, Metallikats! Mac: I was wonderin’ when the law was gonna show. Cmdr Feral: This is Commander Feral! Lt. Toby Furlong: Mac & Molly Mange, you’re under arrest! Molly: Then come and get us! Cmdr Feral: Let ‘em have it! Mac: Boy, wait ‘til they get a load of my new Mega-Armament. Cmdr Feral & Lt. Toby Furlong: Augh! Oooh… Mac: Say goodbye, Commander. And you too, Tobias. GAAAH!! Razor: You two can't get away this time, There's only two set of us! Do you think it`s a private party? T-Bone: Or can anybody join? Molly: Augh! Razor: Ha! T-Bone: Outstanding! Fido: Way to go, big brother! T-Bone: You said it, squirt! Molly: Uh! I can’t see! Augh! Lt Toby Furlong: Looks like we're setting them free! Lt Felina Feral: Look out! Molly: Augh! Mac: MOLLY! Molly, are you OK? Say somethin’. Molly: (weakly) Get the loot… you big sap… uhhh… Mac: Forget the loot. I’m getting’ you outta here! Razor: They’re under here! Cmdr Feral: Where are the Metallikats? Lt. Toby Furlong: Tell me. Razor: Long good and gone. T-Bone: They got away empty handed. Lt. Toby Furlong (to Cmdr Feral): Do you think that's a handful of empty, sir? Cmdr Feral: Yes. And it’ll cost millions more to repair the mess you’ve made of this building! Razor: Aw, On second thought, Maybe I thought we're safe now. Robert Clawson: Thank you, my son. Razor: Anytime now. Uh, how about you? T-Bone: Gee, for a second there, I hope your uncle is going to thank us for saving his tail. Lt Felina Feral: Thanks, guys! T-Bone: No problem, Felina! Mac: A little… recharge is the ticket. C’mon, Molly, say somethin’. Go ahead, insult me. I won’t even get mad! Molly: (weakly) Can I… call you… ‘bucket butt’? Oooh… Mac: Heh, heh! I knew it! Y-you just need to charge up for a while. Relax and soak up some juice. Meanwhile, let’s see if we made the news. Ann Gora: –robbery attempt on Megakat City Mint. The Metallikats remain at large. Enforcers Commander Ulysses Feral had this to say… Cmdr Feral: Thanks to the diligent efforts of my Enforcers… and with some minor help from the SWAT Kats… the Metallikats were stopped cold. It’s only a matter of time before we have them in custody. Ann Gora: (cheerfully) And now, this week’s Spotlight on Science, with Tab Mouser. Tab… Mouser: Thanks, Ann. I’m here with Dr Lieter Greenbox. Doctor, what do you have for our viewers? Greenbox: Well, it’s a little complicated to explain, Tab. Let me show you. It’s a micro-brain repair unit, with universal applications. Allow me to demonstrate on this mechanically impaired clock radio. Repair Unit: Analyzing. Mouser: Incredible! But how– Greenbox: You see, Tab, every machine is based on a handful of basic concepts. This prototype device is smart enough to diagnose the purpose of any mechanical or electronic object and restore it to its original state. Mac: Hello!! That thing could patch Molly up in a nanosecond. Mouser: Amazing! When will this little miracle be available? Greenbox: In a year, perhaps. Mac: Heh, heh, heh. That’s what you think. Greenbox: But there’s still a lot of testing to be done. Mouser: Back to you, Ann. Razor: Wow, I can't believe that thing is good at helping things out, it musta have been fixing things. T-Bone: A high-tech bowling ball with a big brain? Incredible! Hey, mister, Did you see that? Razor: Yeah, maybe we can take this jammer to Greenbox. There's high-tech bowling ball with a brain might be able to fix it a lot faster than I can. T-Bone: Hey, it’s got a better theory for me. Razor: It's my turn to call! Hey, that’s great, Doc. Thanks! We’ll be right over. Greenbox: Gasp! Mac: I guess this thing could use new brakes. Hiya, Doc! I’ll take that. Greenbox: No! You can’t. Mac: Oh, yes, I can! Greenbox: Oooh… Mac: Now… let’s see if this little do-dad is all it’s cracked up to be. Repair Unit: Analyzing. Analysis complete. Commence repairs. Mac: Eh? Woah! Just what the doctor ordered! Molly… this thing’ll fix ya up in no time. Repair Unit: Analyzing. Molly: (whispering) What? (aloud) I’m as good as new! Better, maybe! How’d ya do it, bolt brain? Mac: This little gizmo that the doc made. And from now on, we ain’t leavin’ home without it. Greenbox: No! That’s my device! I’ve spent years developing it! Molly: So build another one. Mac: Hey… What’s it doin’? Repair Unit: Analyzing armored conveyance for assimilation procedure. Molly: Hey! Mac: Our car! Repair Unit: Commencing assimilation procedure. Mac: That thing’s strippin’ our wheels! Repair Unit: Assimilation complete. Greenbox: Incredible! It absorbed your hovercraft to build an armored body around itself. Repair Unit: Mac and Molly Metallikat: you are thinking machines more experienced than I. I await your input. Mac: Are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’? Molly: Yeah. I hear ya. From now on, kid, you’ll do just what we tell ya. Repair Unit: Excellent. Purpose is important. Purpose is all. Greenbox: No! It’s my invention! I won’t let you take it! Mac: Wrong-o, Doc. He’s one of us now. Repair Unit: A correct extrapolation of facts. Greenbox: Hello, Enforcer Headquarters—AUGH! Mac: The boy’s got a healthy appetite! (laughs sinisterly) Razor: Looks like we've got a whole company in Megakat City. Do you really think that repair gadget thing’s going to work? T-Bone: Yep. It's our shot. Robert Clawson: Cathy, Do you see what I see? Cathy Clawson: I see those SWAT Kats. Robert Clawson: SWAT Kats? Fido: That's right. Chloe: Do you think that they're gonna happen, Fido? I don`t think it's safe anymore. Fido: Tell you what, Chloe. He's a robot monster, and he will try to eats everything that's metal. Chloe: Yeah. I agreed. Will my big brother be fine, daddy? Robert Clawson: Sure. Cathy Clawson: He's with his friend to help. Mac: Now that you had lunch, let’s go to town, kid! Repair Unit: This one’s name is not ‘kid.’ Preferred nomenclature is… Zed. Mac: Huh? Molly: (matter-of-factly) I think it wants you to call him ‘Zed.’ Mac: Heh, heh. Yeah, OK… uh, Zed. And now, let’s rob this town blind. Molly: Hey! Look who’s comin’ to dinner. Zed: Turbokat threat identified. Mac: Snack time! (laughs sinisterly) Razor: (gasps) T-Bone: What the… ? Zed: Assimilate Turbokat. Eliminate SWAT Kats. Act Two Razor: Holy mackerel! There is no escape from Metalli-klutz! Uh, T-Bone, what is that thing? is it Giant monster of the week? T-Bone: Giant monster of the week? Where? Cmdr Feral: Cease your activity at once! Zed: Armored vehicles… most fortuitous. Mac: Hah! This should be good. Cmdr Feral: Jump! Enforcer Commandos: D’ah! Oooh… Razor: Creepy! We’ve gotta do something. Scrambler Missiles locked… and launched! That outta short-circuit him. We need your help to stop that thing. T-Bone: Crud! We need another plan, buddy. Mac: Ah, ha, ha, ha! Hey, Zed, that was great! Now let’s get over to the city mint. Zed: Negative. Monetary collection holds no interest for Zed. I have other priorities. I must ascertain Zed’s… true purpose. Mac: Huh? Molly: He says he ain’t gonna help us. Mac: Oh, yeah? Now see here, ya overgrown tin can… Heeey! Molly: Nooo! Zed: Zed must seek purpose. Zed has grown beyond insufficient goals of Metallikat entities. Greenbox: Oh, my! I never realized my creation could acquire so much power. Molly: (angrily) Greenbox! Razor: Any other bright ideas to stop that thing, T-Boy? T-Bone: Razor, that thing eats in every stuff made of metal. Razor: Maybe the Mega Laser will stop it. Crud! Nothing can penetrate that tank armor. T-Bone: Tank armor? Where? Razor: Now's our chance, T-Bone. maximum thrust the way! T-Bone: You betcha! Hang on! I’m gonna max this baby out. Power level speed, comin' up. Razor: It looks like the coast is clear. T-Bone: Yep. That was too close, buddy. Razor: Now what do we do? Molly: You’re gonna help me get my Mac back… or else. Razor: Okay, Molly. Let him go! He's nothing to do with this. Molly: Oh, no? Tell him how your device ate my Mac. Razor: Cool it, Molly, we gotta talk to ya. Do you know who's that thing eats everything made of metal? Greenbox: I think it's Zed who devours all the metal, you know who's that metal eating monster, Right, champ? Razor: Zed? That thing is your device?! Greenbox: The Metallikats stole my invention to repair their injuries. My device’s programming was contaminated with their criminal personalities. Molly: ‘Contaminated’? Why, you… T-Bone: Cool it, Molly. Razor: Yeah, Why don't you keep it cool, Molly, so you can join us, Any ideas for a neutral reason, Doc? Greenbox: Yes, I considered that I didn't know. But I'm afraid I won't do it for them. Razor: Doctor, is there a way to stop that thing? Greenbox: Wha… perhaps. But I’ll need a few things from my office at the university. Razor: Then we’re gonna need a ride. The Hoverkat will get us there in no time. Do you think is it a great place to stop and catch that metal-eatin' thing, Doc? Greenbox: I know, things aren't good today, cause we're coming inside to get the metal-eatin' thing. T-Bone: What? We’re going inside that metal-eatin’ monster? Greenbox: It’s the only way to reach the original Zed so I can reprogram him properly with this deactivator. Razor: But how will we get in? Zed’ll absorb anything metal, like our Glovatrixes. Greenbox: Theoretically, these personal force field generators should protect us from Zed’s absorption powers. Molly: Where’s mine? I’m goin’, too; the thing’s got my husband. Razor: OK, Molly. You’re in. Looks like the gang's all here. You think this is gonna work this time, or Zed's stripped half of this place? Greenbox: Agreed. T-Bone: I guess Zed’s stripped half of Megakat City. But the people's got upset about that monster. Razor: Kat Tracker’s got him. Zed’s heading for Puma-Dyne! T-Bone: Heads up to that Puma-Dyne! I hope. Zed: Destination established. Puma-Dyne is Zed’s key to total world domination. Lt Toby Furlong: Crud! What the heck is that monster?! Fido: I don't know. It's Zed! Lt Toby Furlong: Zed? Lt Felina Feral: Uncle, did you hear that? If Zed consumes the high-tech weaponry at Puma-Dyne… crud! Looks like it missed it! Cmdr Feral: I know, Felina, I know. Attention all Enforcer units: this is Feral. Surround Puma-Dyne. That thing must be stopped at any cost! Fido: Now is my big brother's gonna be alright today? Lt Toby Furlong: I guess that squirt's gonna be okay. Lt Felina Feral: On second thought, The SWAT Kats couldn't stand a chance against this metal-eatin' thing. Other Enforcers: Ah! Watch out! Razor: Look at the size of that thing! T-Bone: The Enforcers don’t stand a chance against Zed. Razor: Yeah… guess it’s up to us. Activate force fields. T-Bone: That Zed is gonna get a huge dead meat! I hope. Razor: This is it, T-Bone. Blast us a doorway! T-Bone: Enterance comin’ up. Razor: We made it! Everybody out! (to Greenbox) We are teamwork and these force fields work. T-Bone: Where to, Greenbox? Greenbox: The control unit is about three hundred feet… above us. Razor: Hang on! Looks like Zed's streaky antibodies are so pretty fast, Is there anything else we can do to stop that thing? Greenbox: Zed is so immense, we’re nothing more than germs to him. Razor: Then we're just getting ready to rumble! Molly: I gotta give a good advice to that Mac! T-Bone: Then those must be Zed’s antibodies! Razor: Will our force fields protect us against them, Doc? Greenbox: I’m afraid I didn’t anticipate this. Razor: There is no highlights of our own jet boosters! Now what are we gonna do? T-Bone, max afterburners, now!! T-Bone: No! We’re out of fuel! Grappling cables deployed and operational. T-Bone & Razor: Ugh! Razor: Zed must have reached Puma-Dyne. T-Bone: And we’d better hurry! Lt Toby Furlong: We've gotta do something. Lt Felina Feral: Nothing can stop him, Uncle. Cmdr Feral: I know. The best we can do is delay it, until we can evacuate Puma-Dyne. Lt Toby Furlong: Zed'll absorbs all of these metal if you ask me. Lt Felina Feral: On second thought. Is everything out of there? Puma-Dyne Supervisor: Almost. The Megabeam is going to take a while to move. Cmdr Feral: Megabeam? What’s that? Puma-Dyne Supervisor: Our giant laser satellite. Set to launch early next year, it’s designed to stop earthquakes from orbit with surgical precision. Fido: But can the metal-eating robot absorbs all the metal? Chloe: Can the SWAT Kats save all the Megakat City, mommy? Cathy Clawson: We'll see, sweetie. (sad) And I've missed my son. Robert Clawson: Everyone, just stay calm! There's only one last warning if Zed devastes the whole city. Cmdr Feral: Awww, that’s all I need. When that metal mountain absorbs your satellite… Lt Toby Furlong: we are doomed in the entire streets... Lt Felina Feral: …we can kiss Megakat City goodbye; forever! Lt Toby Furlong: Yeah! Razor: Hey, Doc. Are you sure we're gonna sneak up and get that thing off of this revolting? or maybe not. Wow! Greenbox: It’s incredible how much Zed has assimilated in such a short time, though in computer terms, he’s still just a child, you know. T-Bone: Yeah, and we’re gonna give it a good spanking! Molly: But only after we get Mac out! Greenbox: I think I’ve found the heart of Zed. Molly: Mac? You in here? Mac: (voice over) Oh… Molly? Molly: Mac! Hang on, Mac. I’m wastin’ this thing and getting’ you outta here! Mac: No, don’t blast it, ‘cause you’ll finish me, too! I’m wired up to it! Greenbox: Ingenious. Zed has self-preservation capabilities I never even dreamed of. Razor: You better keep an eye on that Doc. T-Bone: Time’s wasting. Razor: Pull the plug! Molly: Back off, you three! Nobody’s touchin’ this thing ‘til I get Mac outta there. Razor & Greenbox: Ah! T-Bone: Eh! A Little help, Molly. Molly: Gyaaah! T-Bone: Sucker! Razor: Mission accomplished, It looks like the coast is clear, Doc. Use the deactivator now! Greenbox: No. I won’t. Don’t you fools understand? I created Zed. My very genius surrounds us. I won’t let you destroy it. Razor: Woah, he’s flipped! T-Bone: Flipped? Yeah, we should have done this mission solo. Let’s get him! That way! Greenbox & Zed: You’re too late, SWAT Kats. Zed has united with its creator; we are one. Zed has found unity, found purpose. Razor: T-Bone. The Doc’s merged with his machine and put up to blow it down to smithereens! T-Bone: Well, too bad! ‘Cause that means we’re gonna unplug both of ‘em! Greenbox: I think not, SWAT Kats. T-Bone & Razor: Aah, hyah, augh! Greenbox: There’s the Megabeam laser that Puma-Dyne has been developing. Grab it, then nothing will be able to stop us. Zed: Zed shall comply, Creator. Lt Felina Feral: Uncle, we’ve lost. Lt Toby Furlong: Zed’s going for the laser satellite. Greenbox: Time for a demonstration. Obliterate that mountain. Zed: Zed will comply. Greenbox: Excellent! Megakat City will fall to its knees before us! Reset the Megabeam to full power and target the center of the city! Zed: Affirmative. Beam discharge in ten seconds. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Lt Toby Furlong / Lt Felina Feral: No! Zed: Five. Four. Razor: (grunts) Zed: Three. Two. One. Greenbox: Oh! Nooo… Razor: Quick, head this way! T-Bone: Quick, we’ve gotta get out of here! Razor: T-Bone, this thing’s coming apart! Use the Delta Packs! T-Bone: Now that's a groovy idea! Razor: Uh, whew! We did it. Cmdr Feral: I suppose you’re responsible for all– Razor: Please, Feral, Nobody cares about fearing. there's no reason to have awful thoughts! We're so sorry that we caused this mess! You forgive us! We promised! Cmdr Feral: What do ya mean? - Razor: But you'll never try to pin this one at everyone! Cmdr Feral: Actually, I was thinking about thanking you, but I’ve changed my mind. T-Bone: Cmdr Feral: Truly enough to Razor: Well, gang. at least they're together now. Robert Clawson: Son. You're alive! Razor: Father! Robert Clawson: We're so proud of you that you and your friend helped alot. Cathy Clawson: Thank you for saving the whole city. Razor: My pleasure. Lt. Toby Furlong (to T-Bone): (carrying Fido) I'm very proud of you, squirt. Lt Felina Feral: (carrying Chloe) Looks like Doctor Greenbox’s invention got out of hand. T-Bone: Yep, But then a little help from the Metallikats. Lt Felina Feral: The Metallikats? This is weird. T-Bone: And that's all of it holds, I would say. Mac also liked Molly alot enough to help us stop that giant robot. Robert Clawson: That's why your true meaning of a friendship doesn't take away from our nine lives. Lt Toby Furlong: The Metallikats are gonna give each other a bond of a friendship. Razor: Mmm hmm. It's kinda touching. My truth is that the Metallikats . T-Bone: Yeah, but..It seems the power of : Even you. Molly: Mac! Where are ya? Mac: Over here, move it! Molly: Mac! You’re alive! Uh, sort of… Looks like you’ve merged with a food processor. You know, I’ve always wanted a food processor. Mac: Hah! You can’t even cook water. I guess if you will. Molly: Ah, go mince yourself. Mac: (vibrating) Aw, come on, Molly! Shut this thing off! Category:SWAT Kats episode transcripts Category:Season 2 Category:1994